do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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