Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
