You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
