NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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