My room smells like vodka and shame
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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