Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
