So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
