90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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