Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
