Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
