listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
