he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
