quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
