woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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