This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
