so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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