can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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