I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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