Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
