the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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