i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
