If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
