it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
