Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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