then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
