How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
