Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sarcasm needs its own font
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
