I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
