i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
