it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're a waste of cheezeits
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
