I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
