yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
