making cat noises will not fix the situation.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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