So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
