I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
