Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
