belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
