well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize