Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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