Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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