Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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