Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
