Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
