38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
