Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
