So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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