Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
