In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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