if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
