Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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