Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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